A blog dedicated to small and intimate weddings. Step inside for wedding venues, DIY wedding ideas and real weddings with 75 or fewer guests.
I had a small wedding, then I wrote the book Intimate Weddings. My husband and I started this website in 2008. We’ll be celebrating ten years of marriage this year. Want the full story? Read this.
Writing and art are my passions. I also love photography and sea glass.
I believe in kindness. I cheer for the underdog. I march to my own beat.
When it comes to weddings, I love creativity, resourcefulness and authenticity. And I happen to think small weddings rock.
Out with the old, in with the new! Okay, so it’s not quite the end of the year – but it is time for some big changes here at IW!
As you can see we’ve freshened up our blog with a new look and easier navigation. Behind the scenes we’ve been as busy as Santa’s elves creating the new look. There are still a few loose ends – so you might run into a few glitches here and there. We hope to have things in tip top shape within the next few days.
We’re also working hard on re-designing the Venue Finder. Stay tuned for a fabulous re-vamp in the new year!
When I was in my twenties and living at home I remember my dad buying me a heart-shaped box of chocolates for Valentine’s Day. It was his way of cheering me up about not having a boyfriend. That’s the kind of stuff my dad did.
He was – and is – an expert at making people feel better.
When I was a kid he always managed to get me to stop crying. No matter how big my sobs. In my tumultuous teens, after break ups with boyfriends or quarrels with friends, my dad could always console me. I think a lot of it had to do with the fact that I knew he deeply cared about me. No matter what.
But it’s also his cheery disposition. My dad radiates cheerfulness. He doesn’t do grumpy.
There are two other special dads in my life; my father-in-law and my husband. They’re amazing men, and exceptional fathers. I am so fortunate to have these guys in my life – and so are my two daughters.
Here’s to you wonderful dads of the world! I hope you know how much you are loved!
Photo: Pinning the boutonniere on my day on my wedding day, September 1, 2001. (Was it really that long ago!)
This is not just a photo of Bela Lugosi; it’s a photo of my blog. At least that’s how I feel about it this very moment as I pound away at 10:29 pm, when I could be stretched out on the sofa reading a damn good novel. I haven’t read a novel since I started my blog one year ago. That’s just wrong. Life’s too short not to read damn good novels. Thankfully the Christmas holidays are here to rescue me and get me away from my computer.
I’m taking a much needed break until the new year. I have scheduled posts for the next two weeks – so I won’t be abandoning y’all.
See you in 2010!
I just discovered this essay yesterday when I was searching for a file on my computer. I wrote it shortly after I became engaged eight years ago (lordie, how time flies!). It was published in a newspaper I was working for at the time. Reading it now, nearly a decade later, brings me right back to the months prior to my wedding. A time when I was feeling both excited and lost – not really knowing how to mark this milestone in our lives in a way that was genuinely us. Perhaps you are feeling some of these same feelings right now. Take heart. It will unfold as it is supposed to.
Oh God, I’m getting married!
By Christina Friedrichsen
I’m getting married. I’ve even got the ring to prove it. I’ve worn it for five months now. It’s become part of me. Part of my identity.
Still, it hasn’t changed how I feel. It hasn’t changed the fact that I’m simply not looking forward to the Big Day. I can’t help it. Honest, I can’t.
It’s not that I don’t love the man dearly, or want to declare my unwavering, everlasting, huge love for him. It’s not that at all. It’s not that I’m uncertain about our union, or that I don’t believe in marriage. I do. I really do.
Truth is, the idea of a big, conventional wedding leaves me feeling a bit nauseous. I imagine myself in the traditional ghost white gown, the predictable lace veil, the garter, the something borrowed, the something new or however it goes, and I get a bit sick to my stomach. I imagine myself at the altar, with a bunch of eyes glaring my way, watching me shake in my boots, er heels, and quite honestly, I get the willies.
Unlike other girls, I never dreamed about showers of rainbow confetti or flower girls in frilly frocks. I never dreamed about chiming wedding bells, or limousines decked out in pink paper flowers. That doesn’t mean I’m not a romantic, or that I don’t love drama and symbolism, which is really what a wedding is all about.
It’s just that my idea of romance is different. Which leaves me in somewhat of a dilemma. It leaves both of us in a dilemma; my fiancé shares the same aversion towards a big, traditional wedding.
Saying our vows on the rugged plains of northern Scotland or inside a tiny, ancient church in Denmark, or Norway, or beside the Maritime seas is our idea of magic. We’ve also thought about a deserted beach somewhere in Hawaii, near a sleeping volcano, of course, or on a sunny shore in Greece.
But, the question remains. Are we doing the right thing?
If we plan a wedding faraway, it is likely several of those who we hold dear to our hearts will not be able to attend. Will we be doing them, as well as ourselves, a disservice?
Will we be filled with regret?
And they wonder why we haven’t started planning our Big Day.
******************
We ended up scrapping the plan to have a destination wedding. Instead, we opted for an outdoor, at-home wedding with 50-guests and it couldn’t have been better. Not only did we have an amazing wedding, shortly after our “I do’s” I got a book contract to write Intimate Weddings. Life is full of beautiful surprises.
I didn’t want an up-do for my wedding. I’ve never worn an up-do in my life. It didn’t suit me – but no bride wears her hair down on her wedding day – or so it seemed.
I flipped through luxurious bridal magazines thicker than telephone directories looking for pictures of brides with their hair free of bobby pins. I came up empty.
“You want your hair to look special on your wedding day, don’t you?” said the hairstylist during a trial-run appointment. I caved. “Sure. Give me an up-do.” An hour and a half later the woman staring back in the mirror was no longer me. She wasn’t the kind of girl who wore plaid flannel pajamas. She didn’t have hangnails or enjoy frothy Guinness and warm slabs of steak. That girl wore satin. She ordered salad for lunch. She chewed slowly. She got manicures.
I dismantled the up-do as soon as I got into my car. That evening was one of clarity: I was going to be myself no matter how much pressure I felt. Thankfully, that pressure didn’t come from family or friends. All along, they encouraged me to be true to myself. They knew that I was the type of gal that marched to her own beat. Why would I suddenly change all that on my wedding day?
I had been to enough weddings to know what I didn’t want at our wedding, which included: A)A mile-long receiving line B) Drunk people doing ‘The Macarena’ c) $400 cake smashed into my face D)People singing silly rhyming songs to get us to kiss.
I bought a book to help me plan our wedding, but the more I read, the more I realized just how much my version of the ideal wedding differed from the norm. I didn’t want five bridesmaids; one maid of honor suited me just fine. I didn’t want a garter toss. I didn’t want a DJ playing the Electric Slide. Sure, I wanted music, but my music would be live. And most of all, I didn’t want a big, fat guest list. I didn’t want to celebrate my wedding day with a group of strangers. Instead, I wanted everyone there to have touched our lives in a special way.
I shake my head when I think of all the things I fretted over while we were planning our wedding. Can we really have a wedding with no bridesmaids or groomsmen? Will people think it’s weird that we don’t have a receiving line? Will our guests still have fun if there is no dancing?
My worries were unfounded. Our little wedding turned out to be one of the best days of my life.
Several months after our wedding, I wrote Intimate Weddings: Planning a Small Wedding that Fits Your Budget and Style. Why? Aside from wanting to help brides with all the nitty gritty of planning a small wedding, I wanted other brides to feel confident in their decision to have an intimate wedding – even if their ideas bucked convention. I wanted couples to feel a sense of validation, and, of course, I wanted them to hear about all the wonderful things a small wedding can offer them.
IntimateWeddings.com takes it a giant step further – providing brides with a slew of planning articles, as well as a place to find the ideal venue for their small wedding. The Intimate Details Blog is chock full of fresh ideas for planning a small wedding, as well as couple profiles and a slew of creative ideas on how to cut costs without sacrificing quality.
I don’t have a single regret about taking the aisle less traveled. For me, it made all the difference.
I hope this website inspires you to do the same.
Christina Friedrichsen, IntimateWeddings.com
