You are found in cupboards holding preserves, peaches and buttons.

You are humble and timeless and strong.

And now you are shabby chic.

Coveted by brides with shining eyes and good taste.

You are big enough to quench a summer thirst, yet small enough to fit inside the ‘c’ of a  human hand.

You are versatile.

You light the way.

You adorn.

You satisfy.

You mark.

You are ubiquitous and cheap.

Come here. I want to hold you.

Photo One: Intimate Weddings Photo Two: Pins and Needles; Photo Three: Adam and Eve Weddings; Photo Four: Elizabeth Anne Designs ; Photo Five: Casa Sugar; Photo Six: Weeping Cherries; Photo Seven: Love Life Images; Photo Eight: Brides.com

Can you have a fabulous wedding on a budget? Yes You Can. How?

 1. Courage. If you are planning a wedding on a budget, you’ll have some tough decisions to make in the upcoming months and one of those decisions will involve who you are going to invite to your wedding. Cutting back the wedding guest list to include only those who are close to you is the best way to reduce your wedding costs, but if you have a large family and a big circle of friends, this will not be easy. It will take courage to make the necessary cuts – and to face the uninvited. Just keep in mind that there’s a good chance that some of your friends and distant family might actually feel relieved that they don’t have to come up with hundreds of dollars in travel expenses and wedding gifts during these tough economic times.

 2. Conviction. Go ahead and get starry-eyed over dreamy pictures of big budget weddings. Drool on your keyboard if you must, at wedding inspiration boards that look delicious enough to devour, but do not be tempted to give in to anything you can’t afford. Realize that you can create a fabulous event – that is true to you and your partner – without blowing your budget.

 3. Creativity. The DIY wedding movement is white hot, and the lousy economy is fanning the flames. Brides are doin’ it for themselves because they realize that they can save bundles of money – and create a more personal and meaningful event with their own DIY touches. And one doesn’t have to be Martha Stewart to pull it off. There’s a plethora of websites on how to make everything from bridal centerpieces to edible favors. Bridal forums and DIY wedding books are also great resources for how-to info. The earlier you plan the more time you’ll have for DIY wedding projects.

 4. Community. Why not get your friends and family involved in the wedding details? Maybe your uncle is a brilliant guitar player. Ask him to play at your ceremony. Maybe your sister-in-law is a graphic designer. Request her help for your invitations. Does your aunt bake raspberry cheesecake to die for? Ask for her help with the dessert table. Generally, friends and family are happy to get involved. Just make sure you show heaps of gratitude for their assistance. (Homemade chocolate chip cookies will warm hearts.)

 5. Calm. There will be days when you feel overwhelmed, crazy even. You will wonder how in the world you are going to pull it off without going over budget. Take a deep breath, and trust in the process. A wonderful wedding is waiting for you at the end of this challenging journey. It’s your job to stay on the path that leads to this destination without losing any friendships along the way (conflicts often occur during times of stress) and without spending money you don’t have. If you are feeling frazzled, frustrated and afraid, remember to keep calm and realize that in the end it’s all about the love.

Photo: Julie and Jon’s Art Nouveau $10,000 wedding. Tinywater Photography.

There is something wedding industry insiders call the “Oh Mommy” moment that happens during dress shopping and salespeople know it like they know taffeta.

The “Oh Mommy” moment occurs when the bride tries on the dress. Not just any dress, the dress. Her face beams, and her mommy gets emotional.

It’s not all that difficult to convince a gal who is in the midst of an “Oh Mommy” moment, that the dress she is wearing was made for her. Needless to say, salespeople take kindly to these moments and bring accessories like veils and tiaras to complete the look.

Although I read about this phenomenon in Rebecca Mead’s One Perfect Day, it didn’t happen to me. I mean, I tried on a whack of dresses and my dear mom was with me as I tried on dress after dress, but she didn’t get all watery-eyed when I found the one, nor did beams of light radiate from my  being when I finally choose the $800 sparkly, ivory A-line. I was relieved more than anything.

I liked my dress. A lot. But spending $800 for a dress that I wore only once seemed insane. I felt the only practical thing to do was recoup at least a bit of my money post-wedding by bringing it to the second-hand shop. Besides, why shouldn’t someone else get to enjoy the dress just as much as I did? Not surprisingly, it sold fast and I got a few hundred bucks back.

These days, it seems plenty of brides are going this route. And the wonderful thing is that there are more and more shops, online and otherwise, offering second-hand dresses. It’s win-win for brides.

I’d love to hear from you. Are you planning on selling your dress after the wedding? If not, what will you do with your gown? Also, would you buy a second-hand wedding dress? I can’t wait to hear your responses!

Meantime, check out Wedding Dress Cash Trumps Memories which appeared recently in The National Post.

Photo: The Wedding Planning Institute

Spend $30,000 on your wedding and you’ll be considered a ‘frugal’ and ‘budget concious’ bride by mainstream media. Don’t believe me? Read it for yourself.

I need a drink. A cheap $9 chocolate martini would suffice. I’m on a budget.

I was interviewed for an article that appeared today in the Richmond Times Dispatch. Check out Economy Affecting “I Do’s”. Small weddings – woot woot!

Carnations. Ick. That’s what I thought six months ago – before I saw the light.

One evening, I was doing some research for an article I was writing about wedding flowers, when an image of a carnation wedding bouquet jumped out at me. No, it can’t be! Carnations? My ‘ick’ suddenly became a  ‘wow!’

I had never seen carnations grouped together before without any other flowers to steal their thunder. They were always used as a filler and almost always paired with baby’s breath. Who knew that they had such power in numbers?

Not only do they look fabulous ‘en masse’, they’re inexpensive, hearty and they last a long time. What more could one ask from such a sweet and humble flower?

I scoured the web for some photos of carnation bouquets and here are a few of the best.

 Red carnation centerpiece Carolyne Roehm via Rainflower Company.

Pink carnation topiaries from pd Bloom.

Carnation wedding bouquet from Real Simple. You can learn to make this bouquet over here.

Carnation pomander centerpiece from Flickr’s Sad Puppy.

Top photo: The Planner Pages.

I hope this wedding inspires some of you who are on a minimal budget. One look at the bride’s face and you can see that she’s glowing. And she and her groom pulled it off for less than $800 USD! (Don’t you love the bride’s sweet, vintage, blue dress and fascinator!)

Kristy, 28 & Toby, 31

Melbourne, Australia

Wedding Date: January 23, 2009

Number of Guests: 68

Wedding Cost: Less than $800 USD (not including the cost of donated food, drinks, flowers and table runners etc. that friends and family contributed.)

Wedding Ceremony Location: Bride’s mother’s backyard.

Wedding Reception Location: Nearby community hall.

Why did you have an intimate wedding?

We really wanted to enjoy the celebration with those that were closest to us, rather than a two second conversation with a few hundred people.

We didn’t feel like traditional weddings represented us or our relationship. Neither of us wanted to spend a lot of money or to have a formal traditional wedding; instead we wanted something personal and that we could afford. Our wedding met those goals.

We removed lots of the traditional wedding elements that we didn’t like, such as the white dress; being ‘given away’; the bridal bouquet. Instead of traditional vows, we added some humour into the seriousness of the ceremony and reminded one another not to lose our wedding rings.

We also didn’t want our wedding to leave a carbon footprint, so instead we had a very ‘green’ wedding which incorporated lots of vintage/second hand items including my dress, my husband’s suit, the candle holders (which were actually glasses) and biodegradable plates.  We are both vegan and so are many of our friends, therefore it made sense that all the food was vegan.

Lots of our friends remarked after the wedding that they don’t normally like weddings but loved ours and we had a blast!   

What are some the challenges that you faced planning an intimate wedding? 

We had a ‘it takes a village’ style wedding, where instead of gifts, we asked all of the guests to bring, food, drinks, or contribute in some way. People brought a wide range of food which was all vegan. It included salads, finger food such as spring rolls, lasagna, pasta bakes, chocolates, cookies, cupcakes, and cakes. It was a buffet-style dinner. It was really personal but also meant that I was really unsure if there would be enough food, drinks etc. In the end though we had more than enough and it was really personal! We did all of the serious planning in about six months because it was quite casual and we left a lot of it to the last minute which I wouldn’t suggest.

I had friend buy the vases and flowers do the centrepieces. I borrowed a simple idea I found at Martha Stewart Weddings to decorate the area where we got married with ribbons that were hung from a tree. My mum helped out with the fascinator and also made my husband’s ribbon boutonniere to match my dress. A friend made table runners based on the colour of my dress. Some took photographs, some helped set-up and clean up.

We also had a ‘music planning night’ one week before the wedding. A bunch of us got together for pizza and brainstormed song ideas for our wedding. (We used a laptop, Ipod and borrowed speakers for our wedding music.) We had one friend that played guitar as we walked down the aisle and another friend read from The Alchemist. Everyone really did have some sort of role or contribution that made the day extra special.

Was it difficult to pare down the guest list?

Yes, although we had a rule that we invited people who we saw more often, not necessarily those we knew the longest. It meant that we didn’t invite extended family or friends.

Did you have any ‘issues’ with the small guest list from friends and family? If so, how did you address them?

Considering how non-traditional the wedding was, everyone seemed to understand.

What were the highlights of the ceremony? 

Looking into my husband’s eyes and seeing him touched during our vows, and watching my husband spill wine down his chin during the Chinese drinking ceremony where we drank wine in glasses that were tied together with our arms intertwined.

What were the highlights of the reception? 

Dancing with the flower girl to YMCA; eating lots of yummy food that our friends and relatives had made; and doing lots of silly dance moves with everyone.

What was the best thing about having an intimate wedding?

We managed to say more than hi to everyone, and didn’t feel stressed about getting to talk to everyone.

What advice do you have for couples who are considering an intimate wedding?

Do what feels right for you and remember that weddings should be fun – not stressful!

Vendors: With the help of our family and friends, we did everything – except for the celebrant and makeup artist.

Photos: Kristy and Toby’s friends and family

Here comes the bride – and here comes the small guest list. Once again the trend towards smaller weddings is cited in a major news publication.

Yesterday’s National Post story “Here Comes the (Recessionary) Bride” states:

Lynn O’Brien, producer of the Fraser Valley Wedding Festival, says e-vites or self-designed invitations are just one way people will be saving money.

O’Brien says she expects weddings will be smaller, too.

“Obviously [the downturn] is far-reaching and it’s going to impact everything.”

People will also be looking to wed in more interesting and inexpensive venues such as museums or parks, she says.

Want the full story? Check out the National Post online.

Have your wedding plans been affected by the recession? You are far from alone. This recent CNN article called Love in the Time of Recession profiles nine couples whose wedding plans are affected by the recession. It’s interesting to read about the various ways that couples cut costs.  This one is worth the read!

Read the full article here:  CNN article Love in the Time of Recession

From the moment you begin your journey into the world of wedding planning there are opportunities to save money. Here are some ideas to get you started:

Stationery:
1. Make your own invitations, or have a friend or family member make them for you.
2. Instead of RSVPS, save the postage and include an email address and/or phone number.
3. Buy your invitations online. There is more selection online, which means it is easier to find invitations to fit your budget. The fact that in many cases you are buying direct from online sources, you cut out the middle man and the savings are passed on to you. Check out www.etsy.com, www.theuncommonbride.com

Attire:
4. For some women, a fancy designer gown is a must, but if you’re the type of bride that would rather splurge elsewhere, consider renting your wedding dress or buying it second-hand.
5. Buy your dress online. Sites such as Ebay can offer significant savings on wedding dresses, both second hand and brand new. Other sites such as www.thebridalworld.com offer warehouse prices on new wedding dresses. What about a vintage gown from www.vintageous.com?
6. Consider buying a discontinued dress from a bridal store.
7. If you are having a casual wedding, why not check out area department stores for a dress?
8. Guys, do you really need a tux? What about a suit?
9. If you’re crafty, you can make your own veil and headpiece. Materials can easily be found at a craft store, and instructions can be found on the Internet or in books.
10. Buy inexpensive shoes. Chances are your gown will be long and no one will see your shoes anyway. You can purchase ballerina’s shoes from a dance studio for a reasonable price.
11. Borrow a friend’s crinoline.
12. Buy bridesmaids dresses from a department store.
13. Do your own hair and make-up.

Flowers:

14. Use flowers that are in season and use plenty of greenery in your bouquets.
15. Instead of going to a florist, pick out some pretty garden bouquets from the local grocery store, or go to a flower wholesaler or greenhouse. But do your homework and learn what flowers will work best for your particular setting/season.
16. Have the floral arrangements from the ceremony brought to the reception site.

Centerpieces:
17. Use floating candles instead of floral centerpieces.
18. Use a single flower in a vase, or float a single flower in a bowl of water instead of an arrangement.
19. Use potted plants or herbs as an alternative to cut flowers.

Décor:
20. Find pre-loved decorations on eBay.
21. Enlist friends and family and decorate the venue yourself.

Favors:
22. Make consumable favours, like fudge, jam, or cookies. Handmade soaps and lotions are also lovely.
Transportation:
23. Instead of renting a limo, rent a car.
24. Use your car or the car of a friend or family member to transport you from the ceremony to the reception.

Rehearsal dinner:
25. Is it necessary to have an elegant rehearsal dinner? If not, why not have a more casual dinner. Why not go out for Chinese food or order a pizza. What about a backyard barbecue?

Venue:
26. Have your wedding during the off-season (November 1 to April 30).
27. Have your wedding on a Friday night or a Sunday.
28. Have your wedding at Christmastime. Chances are the venue will already be decorated.
29. Have the ceremony and reception at the same location such as a bed and breakfast. Chances are you’ll have less of a rental fee – and you’ll save money on transportation and decorations.
30. Choose a venue that needs little adornment – such as a garden or reception site that is already decorated.

 Food:
31. Have an appetizer table, instead of having hors d’oeuvres served to each guest.
32. Have friends or family make the appetizers and desserts.
33. Consider having a cocktail reception, instead of a sit-down meal.
34. Have a brunch or lunch reception instead of dinner, or a buffet instead of a plated meal.
35. Have a potluck reception.
36. Instead of serving desserts, use the wedding cake as the dessert. (Everyone will be stuffed anyway!)
37. Borrow items such as the punch bowl and cake knife, instead of purchasing them.

Wedding cake:
38. Instead of a wedding cake, go to a bakery and order a fancy cake. (Who doesn’t love cheesecake!)
39. Decorate the top of your cake with fresh flowers or fruit instead of a cake topper.

 Alcohol:
40. Your guests might think you’re cheaping out if you have a cash bar, so have an open bar but limit the types of beverages you serve. Instead of offering hard liquor and mixed drinks, allow the guests to choose from wine, beer and wine coolers.
41. Choose a venue where you can bring your own alcohol.
42. Make your own wine/beer at a do-it-yourself place.
43. Have poured service rather then leaving the wine bottles on the tables.
44. Don’t bother with a champagne toast. (Guests can toast with whatever they are drinking.)

Music:
45. Hire one musician for both the ceremony and the reception.
46. Instead of hiring a deejay, create a playlist on your ipod.

 Photography/Videography:
47.  Have a professional shoot the main shots and opt for the basic package. For all the other shots, provide guests with disposable cameras, or ask friends and family to bring their cameras.
48. Call your local university or college to find out if there are any talented photographers at the school that shoot weddings.
49. Call your local newspaper to find out if any of the photojournalists do weddings.
50. Have a friend videotape the service, instead of hiring a professional.