Second weddings often involve kids. If you or your partner have kids, you’ll probably want them to feel part of your wedding day plans.  Getting them involved is a great way to prevent them from feeling alienated, and will also help them to get excited about your “I do’s.”

There are countless ways to get children involved, but before making any assumptions about their participation – its best to ask them how they feel about playing a role. Some kids won’t be interested. Others might want to work behind the scenes. There are also those that don’t mind the spotlight. Give your child some options, and let him choose a role that suits him.

Encouraging kids to offer their input on your wedding day decisions is a great way to make them feel part of things. Let them offer suggestions on everything from music to favors.

If you have a daughter, you could involve her in picking out your dress. A son might help the groom choose his wedding attire.

DIY Second Weddings

Crafty kids might enjoy helping you make DIY invitations, DIY wedding programs and place cards, as well as wrap favors. Older children might enjoy helping you decorate the venue for your wedding.

Terry got plenty of help from her daughter in preparing for her wedding.

“My daughter helped a lot … We made the invitations, response cards and many other items ourselves,” she says, adding that her daughter also served as her maid of honor.

Ceremonial Roles at Second Weddings

Another way to get them involved is with ceremonial roles.

A girl under 10-years old might get a kick out of being a flower girl or ring bearer. A boy this age could serve as a ring bearer.

Paula had her four-year old son act as the ringbearer for her beach, destination wedding.

“He held the ring box in his hands and wore a beaming smile on his beautiful face as he walked up to Phil and extended his hand. This was my fist ‘cause for tissue’. At this moment I couldn’t be more proud of my little man!” says Paula.

Older girls could serve as junior bridesmaids, while older boys could serve as junior ushers. An older child could also serve as a bridesmaid, usher, groomsmen, maid of honor or best man.

Another meaningful role for a child of any age is to have him or her walk you down the aisle.

For kids that don’t mind public speaking, there is the option of a biblical readings, reciting a poem, or even by giving a speech.

Kids that are gifted musically may want to offer up their talents by performing during the ceremony.

Creating Your Own Traditions

Another way to involve kids in second weddings is to integrate a special tradition into the ceremony. Wedding sand ceremonies are symbolic of the coming together of two families – each person holds a small vile of coloured sand and everyone  takes a turn pouring their sand into a bigger urn.

A ring-warming ceremony is also a wonderful new tradition where everyone takes a turn holding the wedding bands and offering a silent wish while they do so – this could be done intimately with both families before the ceremony begins, or you can ask the officiant to integrate this into the actual services.

Photo One: Luster Studios; Photo Two: Chesea Nicole; Photo Three, Four: Brooke Mayo; Photo Five: Hayne Photographers

By Jennifer Cox

You may have been a fan of the poofy princess-style dress the first time you got married, but for  second weddings, gowns tend to be more simplified and less ornate. The best part about wedding-dress shopping the second time around is that you won’t be easily influenced by what others want (something first-time brides often give in to) – this time, you know that your wedding is all about you so you’ll choose a dress based on what you and you alone love.

With second weddings, brides can think outside the standard white box and opt for a dress that has some colour and is mid-calf length. While having the long, awe-inducing train may have been important to you at your first wedding, the encore bride doesn’t tend to have a train to her dress at all. You may have also worn a beautiful veil – second-wedding brides, however, usually opt for something less dramatic and formal, like a birdcage veil or small hat. There are also beautiful options for headpieces that include feathers and glitzy jewels. You can even choose to wear a stunning suit instead of a dress if you’ll be more comfortable.

The best part of wedding-dress shopping for second weddings is that there are no rules. No one is going to gasp if you don’t wear white (or if you do), you don’t have to feel obligated to wear a family heirloom gown, and you don’t need to go with all the formalities (front-and-back veil, elaborate coif, fancy shoes, or something old, something new. Go with something that suits you, whether it’s a shorter pale yellow dress, free-flowing locks or bare feet!

First Photo: Wed Magazine; Second Photo: NIBS; Third Photo: Wedding Bee; Fourth Photo: Once Upon A Dress Bridal; Fifth Photo: Bride.ca

Is this your second marriage? Wedding rules for encore brides have changed. Second weddings tend to be smaller than first weddings – and oftentimes, they’re more personalized. Couples marrying for the second time are old enough to know exactly what they want. Many of them have done the big wedding thing, and prefer to celebrate with only close friends and family. Besides, they have different priorities. Many of them have careers, homes, kids, and they no longer feel pressured by their families – or society in general – to have a traditional wedding.

 For a couple entering into a second marriage, wedding plans aren’t necessarily less elaborate. Many encore brides and grooms pull out all the stops for their second ‘I do’s.

If you are planning a 2nd wedding, here are some things to keep in mind:

 • If you want to wear a traditional white wedding gown, go for it. The ‘no white’ rule has been abolished.

• Registering for gifts is perfectly acceptable. If you already have all the household items you need, consider setting up a honeymoon registry at www.thebigday.com.

• If you are divorced and want to have a church wedding, check with the cleric well before your wedding date to make sure the church permits 2nd weddings. If you get turned away, try a nondenominational minister.

• Consider a destination wedding. They are a popular option for 2nd weddings.

• If you have kids, involve them. This is a great way to prevent them from feeling alienated and to help them get excited about your nuptials.

For couples entering a second marriage, wedding plans often include children. Here are just a few ideas to get children involved:

 • Encourage kids to offer input on wedding-day decisions. This will make them feel part of the process. Ask for input on everything from the wedding day music to the favors.

• If kids are artistic or into crafts, have them make favors, place cards, invitations or wedding programs. Also have kids help decorate the venue.

• A young girl can serve as flower girl or ring bearer, while a young boy can serve as ring bearer.

• Preteens could serve as junior bridesmaids or junior ushers. A teen or adult could serve as bridesmaid, groomsman, usher, maid of honor or best man.

• Have a child give a reading or a speech if s/he desires.

• If a child is musical have him or her perform during the ceremony or reception.

• Don’t force kids to take a role. Ask them if they would like to participate, and if so what they would like to do.

Photo: Ralph Heinze Photography