Wedding experts can be full of advice, but who better to offer wedding ceremony advice and wedding reception advice than brides who have been there? I interviewed more than 100 couples for my book Intimate Weddings: Planning a Small Wedding that Fits Your Budget and Style. None of them regretted having a small wedding. However, some brides confessed that they would have done a few things differently if they had the chance to do it all over again.

 Here’s what these brides had to say about the wedding ceremony and wedding reception:

 Ceremony

 I’d have chosen to see (the groom) privately before the ceremony. He was so nervous and I was so worried for him that it was difficult for both of us to enjoy the first moment. My wedding ceremony advice is to listen to your gut – even if it breaks with convention!

 Melody

 We would make sure we had a private place to retreat to for a few minutes right after the ceremony. We were immediately deluged by well-wishers and it would have been nice to savor those first few minutes as husband and wife alone.

 Julie

 One of the only things not perfect was my bouquet. I would (have) asked to see it the night before so at that point I could have had her add more flowers to it to make it a little bigger – same for the bridesmaids bouquets …I didn’t think of how our flowers would be in most of the pictures. My wedding ceremony advice is to see the flowers beforehand if you can.

 Linda

 Reception

I would have told my dad to limit his toast to 2 minutes. It went on and on and on for eight minutes solid! My wedding reception advice is to make sure you talk to longwinded speakers ahead of time and gently tell them to keep their speeches under a certain limit.

 Gayle

 We would have extended the wedding reception one or two hours.

 Twila

 I probably would have had more music at the reception, in a slightly larger venue. Probably some guitar folk music.

 Jan

 I would rethink a seating plan and a meal. Even though it wasn’t mealtime (2:30-4:30), perhaps we should have given the guests more to eat than appetizers and cake. But I hadn’t wanted to deal with a seating plan as I’d heard horror stories about them.

 Jane

 There was a lot of leftover food that they took away a bit early for my liking, so I would have kept a better eye on the caterer. My wedding reception advice is to make it clear to your caterer beforehand what you want done with the leftover food and keep your eye on your caterer.

Collette

 I was disappointed with my florist. She wouldn’t commit to the centerpieces, so we ended up going to a major superstore that sells flowers the night before to buy plants for the tables. My mother-in-law dressed them up as best she could with scrap fabric, but they were thrown together and looked it. My wedding reception advice is to take the time to find a good florist and be clear about what you want.

 Ellen

 Photo: Ralph Heinze Photography

Wedding experts can be full of advice, but who better to offer advice for brides than brides who have been there? I interviewed more than 100 couples for Intimate Weddings: Planning a Small Wedding that Fits Your Budget and Style. None of them regretted having a small wedding. However, some brides confessed that they would have done a few things differently if they had the chance to do it all over again.

 
Here’s what these brides had to say about planning their weddings:

1. I would have hired someone like a coordinator for that day to help keep things on schedule. Everything went really well, I just worried too much. I guess I thought it would be simple with a small gathering. I didn’t anticipate all the distractions that you have as a bride. In the end it was hard to stay on top of things. My advice for brides is to hire a wedding coordinator to keep things running smoothly on the day of the wedding.
Linda

2. I would have hired a wedding coordinator. I am not a “planner” by nature so I found the whole process very difficult for me. I didn’t enjoy the planning one bit, which made me very resentful towards my fiancé.
Leila

3. The only thing I would change is that I would have had my then-fiancé help me more with the planning. He has this wacky idea that I was like all those girls who have had their weddings planned forever. It’s really hard to plan something when you don’t care about colors, favors, cake, food, flowers, etc. I might have had a wedding planner if we had more money.
Danielle

4. I would (have planned) it small from the beginning. When we started scouting out reception sites, we found some really one-of-a-kind places that we couldn’t even consider because our numbers were well above what they could accommodate. By the time we really launched into the smaller wedding concept we were under contract with our original reception venue.
Kerry

5. I would have lost more weight before the wedding, and I wouldn’t have stressed out so much. I also would have taken more time off of work before the wedding instead of just the day before. My intimate weddings advice is to take a few days off before the wedding so that you won’t be frazzled trying to put it all together.
Kristen

6. I would have been more careful with the guest list. There were people that didn’t show up and it wasn’t really a surprise. I should have followed my intuition and invited other people that I know would have loved to go. My advice for brides is to invite only the people you really want to invite.
Jennifer

7. I would have printed up a schedule for the day for everyone involved … Just a minor detail, but there was some very small last minute confusion. (A schedule) would have put my mind at ease.
Christine

8. The only thing I would change would be my dress. I had a big ballgown, but felt it was too much for such a small group so I went with a much simpler, understated gown. In the end, the simpler gown made more sense but I still missed the big ballgown. My intimate weddings advice is to choose the dress you really want.
Shannon

Photo: Ralph Heinze Photography