No matter how much we fret about our weddings  or how “Bridezillaish” we become, there are some things that are positively out of our control. As the saying goes “expect the unexpected.” Although not all surprises can be looked upon with a sense of humor, many of the brides and grooms I interviewed were able to put their wedding day glitches into perspective.

And for some, those unplanned instances made for the most memorable moments of their wedding day.

Just because your wedding isn’t perfect, bridal bliss is still possible.

Little surprises

Sandy and Patrick, who got married outdoors in a park, had one of their biggest worries materialize during their ceremony.

“Being that the park was right next to the fire station we were really worried that they might get a call. Well low and behold, right in the middle of the ceremony, the fire engines started up and off they went with sirens blazing,” says Sandy.

Fortunately, the minister was able to put a positive spin on the situation.

“Our preacher announced that the whole town was celebrating with us!”

Not so ‘nutso’

Leila had to endure some seriously embarrassing moments during her wedding. The good news? She lived to tell about them.

Leila and her mate Ryan both agreed prior to the wedding that they would not have a garter toss. Apparently the photographer wasn’t informed about this decision.

“He started leading me to a chair and before I realized what was going on, people had gathered around,” explains Leila. “I jumped up and yelled, “No, we’re NOT doing this! And I ran to the back of the hall. Everyone was standing around like I was nutso.”

Tennis, anyone?

There was also the issue with Leila’s footwear.

Feeling confined by her wedding shoes, Leila decided to slip into something more comfortable during the reception: tennis shoes. Her dress was long, so she figured no one would notice. She was wrong.

“When I sat down everyone saw and started taking pictures! So, now my family has these “secret” pictures of me in my wedding dress and tennis shoes,” she says.

Getting down

Andrew and Rebecca’s embarrassing moment happened on the dance floor. But, luckily it wasn’t them that ended up on their fannies.

“My father-in-law is a terrific dancer. He twirls and swings and just really knows how to liven up the party. Well, he and his daughter were the only ones on the dance floor at the beginning of the reception and he twirled her and she fell on her butt and slid all the way across the floor,” says Rebecca.

Food flinging Granny

During their evening reception at a classy restaurant, one of Diana and Alex’s feisty relatives got a little out of hand. It was perfect bridal bliss to watch it unfold.

“Alex’s grandmother decided to toss food at one of the waiters,” says Diana. “No, she wasn’t drunk. It turned out to be one of the funniest wedding day moments.”

Blushing bride

Jonita and David are living proof that if everything doesn’t go perfectly during the ceremony – you’ll get over it.

During the ring exchange, Jonita got a bit flustered and put the ring on her husband’s right hand, instead of his left.

“The minister looked very puzzled, then stopped to ask us if we meant to do that. We had a good laugh mid-ceremony,” says Jonita.

Thanks, but no thanks

Tracy’s forgetfulness during her wedding reception made for a blunder that she still hasn’t been able to live down.

“I forgot to thank my new husband in my speech, after he we went into this big thing of thanking me in his. To this day it is still a joke with us,” says Tracy.

Children do the darndest things

If young children are part of your wedding, you can pretty much expect a few surprises.

Getting dumped

One of the most memorable moments of Misty and Michael’s ceremony was when the flowergirl decided to do something entirely unplanned.

“(She) decided to dump her entire basket of petals onto the ground at no particular moment,” says Misty.

A snowy mad dash

One of Debra and Chuck’s winter wedding highlights was “watching the flowergirl in her perfect dress make a mad dash for the snow piled up on the driveway.”

Moonwalking ringbearer

At Jorge and Ebony’s wedding, a ringbearer’s spontaneous dance moves gave them – and all of their guests a good chuckle. Looking back it made for some perfect bridal comic relief.

“The highlight of the ceremony was when our ring boy, which was my cousin, was getting bored in the middle of the ceremony and started to do the moonwalk. He pulled up his pants and swore he was Michael Jackson … Everyone started to laugh,” says Ebony.

Peeping Tom

Shannon had a few surprises at her wedding. One of the most memorable was the “peeping Tom” that caught her in the middle of getting ready.

“As I was getting dressed, one of the guests’ sons (around age 13), came down to where I was changing and saw me pretty much naked,” she says.

That’s one surprise she says she could have done without.

Save

Move over bridezilla. There’s a new bride in town. She’s turning the big, fat, expensive white wedding on its head. And she’s not letting the gloomy economy get in her way.

She’s a recessionista bride.

A recessionista bride knows how to have a fabulous wedding for only a fraction of the $30,000 that the ‘so-called average’ bride spends.

How?

1. A Small Guest List. A recessionista bride scales back her guest list. She invites only the people who matter to her. If she hasn’t seen her friend Sally Nevercalls  in five years, chances are she’s not on the list. And she doesn’t invite people simply out of obligation. (Just because she was invited to her hairdresser’s wedding last year doesn’t mean she has to return the favor.) Co-workers and distant relatives are often left off of the list.

2. DIY. With a few clicks of the mouse, a recessionista bride learns how to make everything from centerpieces for her reception to wedding favours. And if she’s not the crafty type she sources out the projects to friends and family – or she posts her projects on Etsy’s Alchemy – a site that connects buyers with artisans who meet requests for custom items.

3. Haggling. A recessionista bride saves money by negotiating with vendors. She realizes vendors are hungrier for clients than they were last year, and she’s not afraid to ask them for a better price or to throw in a few extras.

4. Flexibility. A recessionista bride knows that Saturday evening is the most sought after timeslot for a wedding – and the most expensive, so she’s willing to have her wedding on a Friday night or Sunday – or even during the week.

5. Second-hand. She scours Craigslist, eBay and Kijiji for gently-used wedding items. If she’s into the vintage look, she’ll check out the wedding dresses on sites such as www.vintageous.com. She also uses Craigslist to seek out photographers, bartenders and other wedding professionals who are willing to work within her budget. (She’s a savvy bride who always checks out references and runs fast if she detects event the slightest hint of unprofessionalism.)

6. Prioritizing. A recessionista bride knows her priorities. She splurges only on the things that really matter to her. If she’s a foodie and a decadent meal is important to her, then she’s willing to cut back on wedding items that made her ‘b’ list.  That might mean she uses an iPod instead of a deejay, or prints her own invitations instead of having custom letterpress stationery.

7. Resourcefulness. She makes use of the many talents among her relatives and circle of friends. If her aunt is a piano player, she’ll ask her to play at the wedding ceremony. If her sister-in-law is a graphic designer, she’ll hire her to design the invitations. A recessionista bride realizes that getting her loved ones involved will not only cut costs, it will maker her wedding more meaningful.

You fuss. You fret. You fall to your knees and ask: “Why does this have to be so difficult?”

Creating the wedding guest list for a small wedding can be tricky – especially if you have a big family and a large circle of friends.

What if cousin Mable blacklists you for not inviting her? What if co-worker Bob gives you the silent treatment for the next six months because you didn’t send him an invitation?

Before you get your knickers-in-a-knot worrying about your wedding guest list, realize that during these tough economic times, some of your friends and distant family might actually be relieved that they don’t have to come up with hundreds of dollars in travel expenses and wedding gifts.

Still worried? Check out this article about creating the wedding guest list and this post on kid-free weddings. Also, read the responses from brides in the real weddings section to get some other guest list trimming ideas.

To give you a reprieve from this oh-so-serious guest list-making business, I wrote this little letter to the uninvited.

Please note that I have nothing against wedding photo booths. In fact, there’s a good chance I would have had one at my wedding if they had been around then. So, if you are having a photo booth at your wedding, or you own a photo booth business, don’t be offended.

A  Letter to the Uninvited

Dear acquaintances-that-I-really-don’t-give-a-rat’s-behind-about, co-workers-that-I-merely-tolerate and relatives-who-I-haven’t-seen-in-five-years-and-like-it-that-way:

We’re getting married. You’re not invited.

That means you don’t have to burn up a Saturday night wearing a tight suit that itches in dark, secret places.  And ladies, you won’t have to suffer through a night of sweaty panty hose and Spanx . As if that wasn’t enough, you will not have to spend the evening trying to constrict gas caused by our Mexican food station. (Refried beans can really do a number on you I hear!)

You will not have to endure a lukewarm dinner at a table full of strangers who think you’re just as dull and dim-witted as you think they are. You will not have to feign laughter during speeches that drag on too long, or hide in the bathroom stall for copious amounts of time, texting your friends with updates on how drunk you are.

There’s more! You will not have to wrap yourself in hot pink feather boas and enter photo booths with sloshed guests or be forced to spend half the night trying to come up with something clever to say in our DIY guest book.

And best of all – no gift to buy!

How can you possibly return the favor?

Make sure we’re not invited to your wedding either.

Sincerely,

Think Small

Yet again, a recent survey reveals that brides are cutting their guest lists.

Thanks to Christine Boulton from Think Like a Bride who blogged about the ‘What’s on Brides’ Minds’ Survey conducted for David’s Bridal. The survey says three quarters of brides-to-be admit that they will have to make adjustments to their wedding budgets as a result of the economic climate.  And where will they be cutting back? The survey revealed that the first area that brides-to-be would be willing to adjust is the number of guests (45% of brides polled said this.)

It’s inspiring that so many couples are seeing the benefits of smaller weddings.

In this January 23, 2009  National Post article, Cancel that White Stretch Limo also talks about the downsized guest list:

The National Post writes:

“Is Frugabridelista a word yet? If ever there were a moment for intimate weddings and austerity, isn’t this it?”

The article interviews several big shots in the wedding industry, including Bridal Guide Editor-in-chief Diane Forden. And what does Forden say will be the  number one item on the budget cuts hit list as more and more couples are impacted by the recession?

“I think it will be their guest list,” says Forden.

Smallelujah!

Jennifer, 22  and Richard, 21

Houston, Texas

Wedding Date: May 30, 2008

Number of Guests: 75

 Wedding Cost:  $3,000

 Wedding Ceremony Location: Stewart Beach, Galveston, Texas

 Wedding Reception Location: Wedding Chapel , Galveston, Texas

 Why did you have an intimate wedding?

We knew that not all of my family  was going to be able to attend since they are out of town, so we planned for all his local family to attend plus some of my close friends. Also, since we were paying for it all ourselves, we knew that we had to keep the guest list below 100.

 What are some of the challenges that you faced planning an intimate wedding?

The hardest thing was our location. We originally planned a restaurant ceremony but were faced with last minute seasonal inflation charges and we had to find a new ceremony location fast. Luckily our ceremony venue was understanding and was able to accommodate us.

Was it difficult to pare down the guest list?

It was hard to not invite everyone we knew but we already knew that most of my family was unable to attend and so we filled in those slots with close friends.

 Did you have any ‘issues’ with the small guest list from friends and family? If so, how did you address them?

We didn’t really run into any trouble with anyone asking to come who weren’t already invited. Most people we talked to understood that we were young, and since we were paying for it ourselves, knew the wedding would be small.

 What were the highlights of the ceremony?

The intimacy. I loved how it wasn’t a traditional “sit down” ceremony. All the guests were up close and personal with us. We faced our guests instead of having our backs to them which was great.

What were the highlights of the reception?

I think everyone really enjoyed our slideshow that our maid of honor and Richard put together. We had pictures of us growing up from before we met and then tons of us together over the years. The songs they chose really fit our personalities. Also I personally found the toasts from the maid of honor and best man very touching.

 What was the best thing about having an intimate wedding?

Being able to visit each and every guest and actually holding a conversation. We got to thank each person personally and hug everyone goodbye at the end of the night.

What advice do you have for couples who are considering an intimate wedding?

I really wish more couples would consider having one. I know that most people want to have as many people there as possible but at the end of the night, all the people that mean the most to you are the ones that you’ll see the following days, weeks, etc. and those will be the ones you’ll talk about the wedding with. It’s great knowing that you were able to talk to and thank everyone individually.

 Vendors:

Dress: Custom by Helen Touchet

Cake: Custom by Melanie Lance

Photography: Freelance by Amanda Schilling from AP Schilling Events and Professional by John Stone Photography

Flowers: Grapevine Florist

Hair: Tisha Varas

Tux: Al’s Formalwear

Ceremony/Reception: Wedding Chapel

Photos: Amanda Schilling from AP Schilling Events