Congratulations to Cathy in Nepean, Ontario who won a copy of Intimate Weddings: Planning a Small Wedding that Fits Your Budget and Style just for becoming a member of IntimateWeddings.com.

The Big White Wedding Industry 101 should be a mandatory course in university and Rebecca Mead’s book One Perfect Day: The Selling of the American Wedding should be required reading.

Since that’s not going to happen any time soon, I recommend to anyone who is engaged to read this book. It will open your eyes.

It tears back the curtain from the wedding industry and gives you a glimpse inside the big, white wedding machine. A machine that ain’t so pretty.

Read my review here.

Some couples can’t imagine a wedding without dancing. For them, it’s all part of the celebration. Others – like Darin and I, passed on this option. It’s not that we don’t like moving to our favorite tunes. It’s just that, well, we just didn’t want to feel pressured to occupy the dance floor at our wedding.

Despite the fact that they are having small weddings, some couples feel almost obligated to make it part of their reception. Others like the fact that a small wedding takes the pressure off of them to include dancing. And then there are those that not only can’t wait to find the best wedding dance songs for their weddings, but take dance lessons to prepare for the occasion.

Linda and Robert, who had 55 people at their estate wedding, are a case in point.

“My husband and I had taken a few lessons,” says Linda. “Just being out there dancing with my new husband, family and closest friends was such a thrill. I really didn’t want the night to end.”

Karen and Robert, who also got married at an estate, had family give them some pointers.

“(Robert’s) parents had come up to our house a few weeks prior to the wedding to give us some dance lessons. We didn’t do great with the lessons, but we had always managed to dance pretty well together in the past,” says Karen.

However, Karen admits being a bit nervous about getting her moves just right.

“I got a little bit worried about flubbing the dance thing in front of all of our guests, but when we were in each other’s arms and dancing (and we did very well!) it didn’t matter.”

Nancy and Jose put a great deal of thought in choosing their wedding day music, and spent several months prior to their Big Day dancing to the songs.

“We had been learning, choreographing, and practicing for over 2 months, and boy, was I nervous: but it went all smooth,” says Nancy.

Linda and Evan, on the other hand, left their dancing shoes at home.

“Our reception was quite simple, a very nice dinner, but no dancing,” says Linda. “Our crowd was pretty tame, as we are in our thirties and not much interested in club-dancing and drinking to extinction anymore … Everyone just mingled and talked and laughed.”

Dan and Amie, who had 53 guests at their reception, which was held at a family member’s home, also had a simple reception without dancing.

“We didn’t have a DJ or band … just some light music on a sound system that went through the house and also on the porch. People mostly just wandered through the house, mingled and ate,” says Amie.

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I will never forget the sight of the laundry room floor the night before my wedding. It was  COVERED with flower stems, leaves and petals! In fact, the stark white vinyl flooring was barely visible beneath the greenery. And this was at midnight! My mother, my maid of honour, and I had spent the better part of the evening creating the floral centerpieces for my wedding. Thanks to some beautiful wholesale flowers and my talented mom, they turned out beautifully. (Without my mom’s help we would have be lost amongst the stems and leaves.)

DIY flowers can save you a bundle. But not everyone has a family member or friend adept at floral design. That’s where Real Simple’s Wedding Flowers: How to Create Beautiful Bouquets from Supermarket Flowers comes in. The article provides some great visuals on how to create your own wedding bouquets. Carnations never looked so good! Check it out.

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Wedding experts can be full of advice, but who better to offer wedding ceremony advice and wedding reception advice than brides who have been there? I interviewed more than 100 couples for my book Intimate Weddings: Planning a Small Wedding that Fits Your Budget and Style. None of them regretted having a small wedding. However, some brides confessed that they would have done a few things differently if they had the chance to do it all over again.

Here’s what these brides had to say about the wedding ceremony and wedding reception:

 Ceremony

I’d have chosen to see (the groom) privately before the ceremony. He was so nervous and I was so worried for him that it was difficult for both of us to enjoy the first moment. My wedding ceremony advice is to listen to your gut – even if it breaks with convention!

Melody

We would make sure we had a private place to retreat to for a few minutes right after the ceremony. We were immediately deluged by well-wishers and it would have been nice to savor those first few minutes as husband and wife alone.

Julie

One of the only things not perfect was my bouquet. I would (have) asked to see it the night before so at that point I could have had her add more flowers to it to make it a little bigger – same for the bridesmaids bouquets …I didn’t think of how our flowers would be in most of the pictures. My wedding ceremony advice is to see the flowers beforehand if you can.

Linda

 Reception

I would have told my dad to limit his toast to 2 minutes. It went on and on and on for eight minutes solid! My wedding reception advice is to make sure you talk to longwinded speakers ahead of time and gently tell them to keep their speeches under a certain limit.

Gayle

We would have extended the wedding reception one or two hours.

Twila

I probably would have had more music at the reception, in a slightly larger venue. Probably some guitar folk music.

Jan

I would rethink a seating plan and a meal. Even though it wasn’t mealtime (2:30-4:30), perhaps we should have given the guests more to eat than appetizers and cake. But I hadn’t wanted to deal with a seating plan as I’d heard horror stories about them.

Jane

There was a lot of leftover food that they took away a bit early for my liking, so I would have kept a better eye on the caterer. My wedding reception advice is to make it clear to your caterer beforehand what you want done with the leftover food and keep your eye on your caterer.

Collette

I was disappointed with my florist. She wouldn’t commit to the centerpieces, so we ended up going to a major superstore that sells flowers the night before to buy plants for the tables. My mother-in-law dressed them up as best she could with scrap fabric, but they were thrown together and looked it. My wedding reception advice is to take the time to find a good florist and be clear about what you want.

Ellen

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