Sometimes I get etiquette related questions from my readers. I reply to the questions, but I don’t consult Miss Manners for my answers. I’m not saying that I don’t believe entirely in etiquette (manners are a good thing), it’s just that well, rules are sometimes made to be broken.

I realize that when it comes to weddings, there are lots of potential etiquette landmines. And one of the biggest involves the guest list.

How, for instance, do you tell people-who-are-expecting-an-invitation that they are not invited?

A bride sent me this email. Instead of responding to her directly, I thought I’d put it out there and have my readers leave a comment here for the bride. Here is her question:

I’m currently planning an intimate wedding (or 10 people max) and I was wondering if instead of sending invitations to those I’m not inviting if I should send a letter saying we’re sorry to not be inviting them but we’ve decided a small wedding is what we want and they can feel free to keep up with wedding stuff at our wedding website. I just wanted to know what kind of thing I should put into the letter or if I should forget it.

What would you do?