11 Wedding Essentials from the Groom’s Perspective

Art Nouveau Wedding in California

By Darin (The Huzz)

Do you see an intimate wedding in your future? Maybe in 2011 or 2012?

Here’s my list of wedding planning essentials for the upcoming nuptials.

1. Bride and groom committed to spending the rest of their lives together. Simple enough right? About 50% get it wrong. Here’s hoping you’re in the “get it right” population.

2. Bride and groom who have sorted out whether or not they want children. Tied to #1, but trust me, part of that 50% failure rate on marriage includes not having this sorted out beforehand.

3. Marriage license.

4. Officiant who can perform marriage.

5. Witness(es).

6. Wedding venue. (From court house to backyard to swanky loft. With a small, intimate affair your options are endless.)

7. Loved ones and close friends whom the bride and groom would like to be a part of their marriage ceremony and post-ceremony celebration, if applicable.

8. A bag of real money. No plastic. No line of credit. No “mom and dad’s home equity that’s losing equity by the day” line of credit. Real M-O-N-E-Y. How much goes in the bag depends on the list you create in step 9. Do NOT base it on the “Average Cost of a Wedding” number that you see in mainstream media.

9. A list. Or two. Or three. On this list should be the “stuff” that YOU want to include as part of YOUR wedding. This item can be extremely simple or really complicated. To create this list you might include you and your future spouse only, but not necessarily. If your parents or future in laws are helping to foot the bill you’ll probably end up including them in the decision making process as well.

10. Stones. Big ones. Not only for the groom, but the bride as well. You’ll need the stones to keep your wedding true to what your vision is. The internet has given you so many options and “experts” to guide you through this manufactured wedding maze. It’s easy to end up on a much different path than where you started. That isn’t always a bad thing. Just remember to take a good, hard look at where you are going. Does it feel right? If not, re-group.

We got married in 2001.  I’m here to tell you from the other side of the fence, with 10 years of happy marriage and a family that’s grown from the two of us, to now four, that the best thing you can do is stay true to yourselves and make your crazy list of wedding essentials your OWN list and not the list that the industry wants you to fret over as you pump bags of money into its hungry industrial complex belly.

Which brings me to the last thing on the list:

11. Stay inspired. These real weddings will help you do just that.

Photo: Julie and Jon’s Art Nouveau Wedding by Tinywater Photography

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7 Comments  |  Filed Under: Small Wedding Ideas, Wedding Planning

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  1. Posted by LizAndrsn on January 13th, 2011 at 12:15pm

    I had similar comments deleted on another wedding blog for saying the same thing last week.

    Coming from 25 years married this May, I can say that everything you've said is true. The only thing I would add to someone planning their Wedding is to balance your decisions on this one thing: the day after the Wedding, how much will this (accessory, expense or other frivoulous item) mean to me, my Spouse, and anyone that attended?

    So much flaunted by the Wedding Machine is a uni-tasker (with apologies to Alton Brown). If you don't have a plan for what to do with all the chotzkis the day after, you probably don't need them the day of.

    I'm off to pirint this list for a couple who really need to hear it from someone other than me. Brilliant!
  2. Posted by Darin on January 13th, 2011 at 11:37pm

    Thanks for the kind words and added insight Liz. Good luck with your couple in need of some down to earth inspiration.

  3. Posted by Christina on January 13th, 2011 at 11:50pm

    Thanks for the inspiration!
  4. Posted by Lissa on January 14th, 2011 at 9:15am

    An honest, tell-it-like-it-is post! A lot of the stuff you wrote about doesn't get factored in to the wedding preparations at all...or should I say, it's the "wedding" that gets all the planning -- the "marriage" becomes an afterthought. Great for a blog like this to give this matter space!
  5. Posted by Gary on January 15th, 2011 at 10:45pm

    I love your articles. For years my wife and I wonder why so much emphasis is put on the things that will have no meaning the day after the big party or even much of a memory years down the road. What really makes for great memories that are fun to look back at are the people you interacted with on the special day. All the glitz and shows meant to impress will soon be forgotten if not perceived as a sincere outward extension of the bride and groom. Just my thoughts. Thanks again for your quality posts.
  6. Posted by Darin on January 16th, 2011 at 4:27pm

    Lissa, thanks for your comment.
    Gary, thanks! Maybe I should have included 12 points, the added one being to spend the time finding the right wedding photographer who can capture the real vibe of the day in the shots that they take. You can spend oodles on frivolous stuff that neither your guests nor you will remember, but the photography is what really captures the event, regardless of the amount spent on the frills.
  7. Posted by Cona on August 9th, 2013 at 7:47am

    It is great to hear from the Grooms perspective when it comes to weddings!
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