When we first began planning our intimate wedding, we thought about a destination wedding. Scotland would have been our country of choice. Weddings away have always appealed to both of us. They seemed like the perfect way to combine both a vacation and a major life event.

Although we ended up having a wonderful at-home wedding instead,  I can’t help but wonder what it would have been like to have a destination wedding.

If this is something you are considering, realize that the planning process isn’t always as stress-free as some people in the wedding industry make it out to be. Weddings away don’t come without risk. One thing that wedding specialists suggest is that you make sure you either choose a location that you have already visited – or at least plan a visit before your wedding to ensure that the place lives up to your expectations. But that can be expensive.

If you’ve got plenty of good information on the location – which may include recommendations from other couples or travel agents, and you don’t mind taking risks, you might want to forgo the visit.

If Darin and I had planned a destination wedding in Scotland, there’s no way we would have made a preliminary trip to our chosen location. But I have been to Scotland before, and loved the beauty of the Highlands. We would have based our decision from extensive research via the Internet.

If the thought of eloping with only your nearest and dearest is appealing to you, make sure you start early.

It’s important to nail down a few possibilities early on. Some wedding specialists suggest that planning for weddings away should begin 6 months to one year in advance. The sooner you can start planning your wedding – the better. If you plan well in advance fewer places will be booked up, and you may be able to take advantage of cheaper prices on flights and lodging.

Planning ahead will also give you more time to spend on researching locations. And it will mean that your destination wedding guests will have plenty of notice so they can book vacation time and save up for the trip.

Once you’ve come up with a few possible locations, the next step is to find out about marriage laws in each region. In France, for instance, there is a 40-day residency requirement, whereas Jamaica only has a one-day residency requirement. Several Caribbean islands, on the other hand, have residency requirements from one to 10 days.

If you want to get married in Cancun, you and your sweetie will be required to submit blood tests taken within 15 days of your wedding, as well as copies of birth certificates or passports. Hawaii simply requires a driver’s license.

In the U.S., laws vary from state to state, so make sure you research the location and find out about its requirements. You can get information about what documents and health tests are needed by contacting the county’s marriage license bureau. Make sure you ask how long it will take for the paperwork to be processed.

Many resorts/hotels throughout the world provide wedding co-coordinators that will help you understand the region’s legalities, and some will even assist you in filing the required paperwork.

If you aren’t working with a wedding planner, you can find out information on your own by contacting the location’s tourist office, the country’s consulate or U.S Embassy. Some government websites also offer this information. Travel agents are another possible source.

The following are questions you should have answers for prior to deciding on a location for your destination wedding:

What types of documents are needed? Will they have to be translated and notarized? Are originals required, or are copies okay?

What type of proof do you need if you are divorced or widowed?

Is there a minimum residency requirement?

Are there any other waiting periods?

Are blood tests or other medical tests required? If so, does it matter if your own doctor takes them, or do you have to have them done in the country of marriage?

How many witnesses are required?

Are religious ceremonies considered legal, or must they be preceded by a civil ceremony?

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He tried to please her with his surprise wedding day ensemble. He even took one of the invitations to the clothing store  to make sure the colors of his blazer matched the polka dots perfectly (without her knowing, of course). What he forgot was that his bride, who usually marched to her own beat, had succumbed to the stress of the big, wedding machine, and has suffered a change in personality. She had suddenly preferred elegance, over eccentricity. When she caught sight of her groom just moments before the ceremony, she nearly collapsed into a heap of despair. How could she stand at the altar with a man wearing a polka blazer?

Meanwhile, her friends over at Offbeat Bride were cheering wildly for the groom and his wonderful creativity. They called to her to snap out of her state of despair and return to herself. Her pre-wedding self. The one who loved her guy for who he was – even if it meant a  pink shirt, polka blazer and knickers exposing striped socks.

 “Thank you,” she said. “Thank you for reminding me of who I used to be.”

She embraced her groom and exclaimed: “I do, I do, I do.”

I love this idea. The creative folks at Melangerie used  little paper shirts, skirts, socks and pants as an alternative to a traditional guest book. From the Melangerie website:

This alternative wedding guestbook encouraged guests to “air out” the bride and groom’s dirty laundry. Instructions inscribed on a detergent bottle prompted guests to write funny stories about Lindsey & Brad on cards shaped like shirts, pants, socks, etc. Guests then clipped the cards to the “clothesline” which was strung at the reception entryway.

We are currently designing a memory book with these cards so notes from Lindsey & Brad’s guests never fade away.

I discovered Melangerie over at Brooklyn Bride.  It’s a  New York City based design consultancy that specializes in curating, creating, and presenting custom gifts, memorabilia and event related materials. Check out the company website for some wonderfully unique wedding ideas. (Love the geneaology seating charts!)

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A picture says a thousand words – and an album full of them can cost thousands of dollars.

Couples spend about seven to 10 percent of their wedding budget on a photographer. Because it is a significant investment, it is wise for a couple to do their homework before making a decision.

Here are 15 wedding photographer tips you shouldn’t do without:

1. Start your search for a wedding photographer as soon as possible. Some say you should start as soon as you are engaged.

2. Choose a photographer you get along with. There are some photographers who are only concerned with the pictures. They really aren’t that concerned with making your day enjoyable. Spending 8-12 hours with someone who is overly demanding or inconsiderate can put a huge damper on your wedding day mood. In the end, you might get marvelous pictures, but will it have been worth it?

3. Ask to see a wide selection of the photographer’s work. Don’t just look through one album of pictures. Ask for as many examples as possible. Even if you are impressed with the photographer’s work, don’t make any hasty decisions.

4. Don’t meet just one photographer. Some experts advise that you meet with at least three photographers before making a decision.

5. Ask the photographer for references. Contact the references and ask them if they were delighted or disappointed with their pictures. Also, talk to friends and acquaintances that may have hired the photographer for their wedding day.

6. Don’t assume that the wedding photographer you are interviewing will be the one who is sent out to cover your wedding. Some larger studios have several photographers on staff. Also make sure that the work you are viewing is the work of the photographer who will be at your wedding. Some companies don’t even have samples of a photographer’s work before sending them out on the job – and that’s fine if people want to take a chance and get a bargain, but if photos are important, you should be looking at images from the photographer that will be at your wedding.

7. During your introductory meeting with a photographer, you will be given a price list that will include various wedding packages. Make sure you are clear about the prices, and that there aren’t any hidden costs.

8. Ask how your photographs will be ‘finished.’ When you see your proofs, they are just raw proofs. When you get your finished picture, they are all custom printed. You are getting colour correction, colour balancing, cropping, and retouching if necessary. Some places don’t do that.

9. An important question to ask a photographer is: ‘Do you have a back-up?’ Death, illness, or other unexpected circumstances do occur, so it’s a good idea to make sure you’re covered no matter what. Also, ask for samples of the back-up photographer’s work.

10. Ask the photographer if s/he belongs to a professional photographers organization like the WPJA (Wedding Photojournalists Association).

11. When you meet with a photographer, bring pictures that you like from magazines to the consultation so that the photographer will better understand your preferences.

12. Although photography is usually “way up there” on the list of wedding day priorities for couples, many make the mistake of calling around for prices first, instead of seeing a photographers work firsthand. The first question many couples ask is ‘How much?’ Sure you might get a great deal, but how will the pictures turn out?

13. Don’t cheap out. This is one of the most important wedding photographer tips. Although your wedding pictures might seem like a big investment, if you’re happy with them, you’ll cherish them for years to come. (You can cut back by buying a basic package, rather than the one with a truckload of images.) Once the vows are taken, the cake is eaten, and the tuxes are returned, what’s left aside from the great memories? An album full of pictures. Pictures that tell the story of a couple in love.

The following tips were provided by the talented Anne Ruthmann:

14. Ask to view an entire set of proofs from a wedding that will have similar lighting conditions to yours – for example, historic church and golf club reception, or outdoor ceremony and tent reception, etc.  If you can view the entire set of proofs from one or two full weddings, then you’ll have a better idea of how the photographer captures and edits the entire wedding day- which will give you a more realistic idea of what to expect from that photographer.

15. Ask the photographer about the album process up front.  Some will create a draft design of the album, which may be more pages than they’ve actually been contracted for in the hopes of upselling.  Some will have the client select the images before starting the design.  A client should be comfortable with the album design process and know what it will be up front.  This is often one of the most elusive parts of the process.

Photo: Anne Ruthmann Photography

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Cathy, 23 and Michael, 22

Princeton, Texas

Wedding Date: October 17, 2008

Number of Guests: 47

Wedding Cost: $10,000

Wedding Ceremony Location: Eldorado Country Club

Wedding Reception Location: Eldorado Country Club

Why did you have an intimate wedding?

We really just wanted to keep our wedding personal and have people who truly care about us there. My husband and I are each other’s best friends, so an intimate wedding felt right for us. We didn’t need anything extravagant, just something that felt romantic.

What are some of the challenges that you faced planning an intimate wedding?

Because our wedding was small, we were more involved with the details of planning the wedding. If it was a bigger wedding, we would have needed help to plan it. The fact that we were so hands on made it pretty stressful at times.

Was it difficult to pare down the guest list?

At first it was difficult because we were afraid of inviting one person and not another and hurting people’s feelings. But it ended up working out.

Did you have any ‘issues’ with the small guest list from friends and family? If so, how did you address them?

A few friends from our work originally weren’t invited due to size limitations. But a few of our long distance relatives ended up not coming, so we were able to invite our friends from work. They just received the invitation a little late.

What were the highlights of the ceremony?

When I was up there with my husband, to see the emotion in his eyes and feeling the love we had for each other. Prior to our wedding I never seen my husband cry, he could not hold back that night and ended up making 90% of the room cry. But the best part of him crying was they were tears of joy and love. There was so much love in the room. You just get that feeling in your heart that you are finally complete.

What were the highlights of the reception?

We had some good laughs from the games my DJ set up. When you looked around the room everyone was laughing so hard. There was a moment when I looked around the room and realized how special I was to have all of these people join us on our special day because they love us that much. You want that moment to last forever and it has, in my heart.

What was the best thing about having an intimate wedding?

I would have to say you really get to spend a lot of time with everyone and it feels more real. I have been to larger weddings and to me it seems impossible to give your time to everyone. But at our wedding I felt like I spent so much time with all my family and friends and had a wonderful night together on a more personal level.

What advice do you have for couples who are considering an intimate wedding?

I think it is the way to go. Your wedding isn’t about how many people you can get to show up, it’s about having people there that love you and want to be there on the happiest day of your life. Keep the wedding more personal. Things won’t seem as hectic either.

Vendors:

Officiant – Craig Claybrook. He was very professional. I really wanted to have our wedding at a church but even though we didn’t he made it feel very religious. He also was very helpful with getting everyone prepared.

DJ – Jerry Taylor with A-1 Entertainment. He was a very funny, friendly guy. He had a lot of great ideas to keep our family and friends entertained. Plus he kept the music fair for all ages.

Photographer – Treva and Bob with Treva Tribit Photography. These two were amazing. They have such wonderful personalities. From the time I met Treva I knew she was the one. They took the most amazing shots; they truly know how to capture the moment. Looking through my photos you can relive our wedding, that’s how wonderful they were. Treva had a way of making me feel relaxed as nervous as I was the day of our wedding. My friend who was in my wedding liked them so much she will be having them do her wedding in Philadelphia, PA in May of this year and I am so excited.

Ceremony and Reception – Eldorado Country Club. It was just what we wanted. Nothing over the top but still romantic. It wasn’t too big or too small it was just right. They set it up so nice inside. The food was great; people were still talking about it days later.

Wedding Coordinator – Tracy Richards with Eldorado Country Club. Tracy was so sweet and helpful. When we first started looking we were afraid of people not taking us serious because we were young, but Tracy never made us feel that way. She made us feel so comfortable. Anything we were worried about she made sure to reassure us it would be okay. She went out of her way to make everything perfect for us. She was so easy going and did everything we asked.

Cake – Kelly with Cake Carousel. The cakes came out amazing. They looked good and tasted yummy as well. She made them just the way we asked.

Flowers – We decided to make our own flowers. This also helps with intimate weddings. My husband and I spent many hours together working on the flowers and we had a great time doing them. He made the guys flowers I made the girls. We made the arrangements together. They turned out beautiful.

 Photos: Treva Tribit Photography