Sometimes I get etiquette related questions from my readers. I reply to the questions, but I don’t consult Miss Manners for my answers. I’m not saying that I don’t believe entirely in etiquette (manners are a good thing), it’s just that well, rules are sometimes made to be broken.

I realize that when it comes to weddings, there are lots of potential etiquette landmines. And one of the biggest involves the guest list.

How, for instance, do you tell people-who-are-expecting-an-invitation that they are not invited?

A bride sent me this email. Instead of responding to her directly, I thought I’d put it out there and have my readers leave a comment here for the bride. Here is her question:

I’m currently planning an intimate wedding (or 10 people max) and I was wondering if instead of sending invitations to those I’m not inviting if I should send a letter saying we’re sorry to not be inviting them but we’ve decided a small wedding is what we want and they can feel free to keep up with wedding stuff at our wedding website. I just wanted to know what kind of thing I should put into the letter or if I should forget it.

What would you do?

Art has always been a source of joy for me. I put down my paint brushes more than a year ago because life got busy.  I am going through serious withdrawal.

To soothe myself I’ve spent the last few weeks on a gardening bender. My husband and I hauled 20 yards of topsoil into our backyard and planted a truckload of perennials. I guess you could say that currently my canvas is my backyard. But I still miss the smell of paint, and the surprise that always awaits. (When I sit down and paint I seldom know what I will create.)

So there I was researching wedding-related stuff for the blog, when I stumbled on They Draw and Cook.

Artists from around the world upload illustrations of recipes onto the site. Like this one by Claire Murray:

Amazing. I am so inspired to create an illustration.  I am not adept at Adobe Illustrator and all of my art is created freehand, but I think it would be great fun!

Not only is the site a treat to look at, I think it’s a great source of inspiration for a wedding. Why not have an artist illustrate your menu?  Or offer up an edible wedding favour, along with an illustrated version of the recipe?

Now for one of those Brrr! Bananas!

Shannon, 33 & Damian, 41

Houston, Texas

Wedding Date: May 1, 2010

Number of Guests: 35

Wedding Cost: $3,000

Wedding Ceremony Location:St. John Church, Sam Houston Park, Houston, TX

Wedding Reception Location: Sambuca Restaurant, Houston TX

Why did you have an intimate wedding?

We would rather have quality over quantity.  We are practical and enjoy the simple things so a big production was not in our vision.  Instead we wanted to share a very personal experience with those closest to us.  We had a short time line, special locations and wanted to retain our sanity through the planning.  Eloping was considered but there were those special few I couldn’t have imagined not sharing the moment with.  We have the rest of our lives to be together, a few hours with our loved ones was worth having the day for.

What are some of the challenges that you faced planning an intimate wedding?

Well besides the guest list, we had such a hard time finding things.  Seems like all the resources are about the big events – bulk packaged for 200 guests.  Even my dress was difficult.  Since there are not many white & short dresses in the winter when I was shopping, with the added requirement to be appropriate for bike riding, I was mostly restricted to buying online. Dresses were coming in the mail every week or so.  It took 4 purchases and returns until I found THE one.  In the end it was better and encouraged us to make it more our own.   We tried to remind others, and ourselves, that the day was about and for US.

It’s strawberry picking season in these parts. Which means that in a few days we’ll be heading to the local strawberry patch to pick enough berries for another round of Hot Damn, this is Good Jam!

This year we have some fancy labels to adhere to our homemade strawberry jam and our homemade raspberry jam – and so do you! Brittany over at Pink Peacock Paperie created some fun free printable jam labels for IW readers!

Happy picking – and happy jam makin’!

I was interviewed by the Globe & Mail for Saturday’s article I do, but Shhh: Bargain Hunting Brides Keep Mum to Cut Their Costs. The reporter asked how I feel about brides telling vendors that they are having a party instead of a wedding, to avoid higher costs. Read my answer here.

How do you feel about lying to wedding vendors?

BTW, The Globe & Mail also ran an article on the top trends in 2010. No surprise that smaller guests lists made the list.