The small wedding gospel is spreading! The Incredible Shrinking Guest List is alive and well. Here is an article about the trend towards smaller guest lists in yesterday’s Boston Globe . (Great title, BTW! ) One look at the comments at the end of the piece and it’s obvious that weddings bring out strong opinions in people!
The Wedding Guestlist: Who Makes the Cut?
February 1, 2009 by
Creating the wedding guest list is a breeze for some couples. For others it’s the source of some serious conflict.
The first thing to consider is whether you want a large wedding or one with a more intimate feel.
If you’re reading this, chances are you’ve chosen the latter and the task of creating your wedding guest list will be a little more challenging. (Can we really leave Aunt Hilda off the list?)
Another factor that will come into play when creating your guest list is who’s footing the bill. If your parents are major financial contributors, then naturally they’ll have more say in who to invite. If you’re paying for the majority of your wedding you will have more control of the guest list.
Some questions to ask yourself when creating your guest list:
- Who are the important people in our lives?
- Is it necessary to invite co-workers?
- Are we including guests simply out of guilt? (i.e. They invited you to their weddings.)
- Are we including guests that we haven’t seen within the last year?
- What if a guest does not have a significant other. Are we allowing guests to bring dates?
- Do we want to invite children?
- What about extended family? Is it necessary to invite second cousins and great aunts?
Going small
Although intimate weddings can be lovely, having a small guest list can mean some difficult decisions because it will mean that some people in your lives will be excluded. This can result in hurt feelings.
Also, parents might not agree with your idea of having an intimate wedding. They might be upset by the idea that certain family members will be excluded.
Friends and co-workers that aren’t invited might also take offence at your decision to go small.
It will require strength to deal with people that don’t agree with your decision to have an intimate wedding. The best way to handle difficult people is with honesty. Tell them the reasons why you are having a small wedding, and that it would be impossible for you to invite everyone you know to the wedding.
Not everyone will come around. That’s okay. This is your wedding. Stay true to yourselves.
Besides, you can always have a post-wedding party to include those that aren’t invited to your wedding!
Photo: Ralph Heinze Photography
Seven Ways to Become a Recessionista Bride: How to have a ‘Wow’ Wedding on a Budget
January 28, 2009 by
Move over bridezilla. There’s a new bride in town. She’s turning the big, fat, expensive white wedding on its head. And she’s not letting the gloomy economy get in her way.
She’s a recessionista bride.
A recessionista bride knows how to have a fabulous wedding for only a fraction of the $30,000 that the ‘so-called average’ bride spends.
How?
1. A Small Guest List. A recessionista bride scales back her guest list. She invites only the people who matter to her. If she hasn’t seen her friend Sally Nevercalls in five years, chances are she’s not on the list. And she doesn’t invite people simply out of obligation. (Just because she was invited to her hairdresser’s wedding last year doesn’t mean she has to return the favor.) Co-workers and distant relatives are often left off of the list.
2. DIY. With a few clicks of the mouse, a recessionista bride learns how to make everything from centerpieces for her reception to wedding favours. And if she’s not the crafty type she sources out the projects to friends and family - or she posts her projects on Etsy’s Alchemy - a site that connects buyers with artisans who meet requests for custom items.
3. Haggling. A recessionista bride saves money by negotiating with vendors. She realizes vendors are hungrier for clients than they were last year, and she’s not afraid to ask them for a better price or to throw in a few extras.
4. Flexibility. A recessionista bride knows that Saturday evening is the most sought after timeslot for a wedding – and the most expensive, so she’s willing to have her wedding on a Friday night or Sunday – or even during the week.
5. Second-hand. She scours Craigslist, eBay and Kijiji for gently-used wedding items. If she’s into the vintage look, she’ll check out the wedding dresses on sites such as www.vintageous.com. She also uses Craigslist to seek out photographers, bartenders and other wedding professionals who are willing to work within her budget. (She’s a savvy bride who always checks out references and runs fast if she detects event the slightest hint of unprofessionalism.)
6. Prioritizing. A recessionista bride knows her priorities. She splurges only on the things that really matter to her. If she’s a foodie and a decadent meal is important to her, then she’s willing to cut back on wedding items that made her ‘b’ list. That might mean she uses an iPod instead of a deejay, or prints her own invitations instead of having custom letterpress stationery.
7. Resourcefulness. She makes use of the many talents among her relatives and circle of friends. If her aunt is a piano player, she’ll ask her to play at the wedding ceremony. If her sister-in-law is a graphic designer, she’ll hire her to design the invitations. A recessionista bride realizes that getting her loved ones involved will not only cut costs, it will maker her wedding more meaningful.
We’re Getting Married and You’re Not Invited: Got Wedding Guest List Woes?
January 27, 2009 by
You fuss. You fret. You fall to your knees and ask: “Why does this have to be so difficult?”
Creating the wedding guest list for a small wedding can be tricky – especially if you have a big family and a large circle of friends.
What if cousin Mable blacklists you for not inviting her? What if co-worker Bob gives you the silent treatment for the next six months because you didn’t send him an invitation?
Before you get your knickers-in-a-knot worrying about your wedding guest list, realize that during these tough economic times, some of your friends and distant family might actually be relieved that they don’t have to come up with hundreds of dollars in travel expenses and wedding gifts.
Still worried? Check out this article about creating the wedding guest list and this post on kid-free weddings. Also, read the responses from brides in the real weddings section to get some other guest list trimming ideas.
To give you a reprieve from this oh-so-serious guest list-making business, I wrote this little letter to the uninvited.
Please note that I have nothing against wedding photo booths. In fact, there’s a good chance I would have had one at my wedding if they had been around then. So, if you are having a photo booth at your wedding, or you own a photo booth business, don’t be offended.
A Letter to the Uninvited
Dear acquaintances-that-I-really-don’t-give-a-rat’s-behind-about, co-workers-that-I-merely-tolerate and relatives-who-I-haven’t-seen-in-five-years-and-like-it-that-way:
We’re getting married. You’re not invited.
That means you don’t have to burn up a Saturday night wearing a tight suit that itches in dark, secret places. And ladies, you won’t have to suffer through a night of sweaty panty hose and Spanx . As if that wasn’t enough, you will not have to spend the evening trying to constrict gas caused by our Mexican food station. (Refried beans can really do a number on you I hear!)
You will not have to endure a lukewarm dinner at a table full of strangers who think you’re just as dull and dim-witted as you think they are. You will not have to feign laughter during speeches that drag on too long, or hide in the bathroom stall for copious amounts of time, texting your friends with updates on how drunk you are.
There’s more! You will not have to wrap yourself in hot pink feather boas and enter photo booths with sloshed guests or be forced to spend half the night trying to come up with something clever to say in our DIY guest book.
And best of all – no gift to buy!
How can you possibly return the favor?
Make sure we’re not invited to your wedding either.
Sincerely,
The Incredible Shrinking Guest List
January 26, 2009 by
Yet again, a recent survey reveals that brides are cutting their guest lists.
Thanks to Christine Boulton from Think Like a Bride who blogged about the ‘What’s on Brides’ Minds’ Survey conducted for David’s Bridal. The survey says three quarters of brides-to-be admit that they will have to make adjustments to their wedding budgets as a result of the economic climate. And where will they be cutting back? The survey revealed that the first area that brides-to-be would be willing to adjust is the number of guests (45% of brides polled said this.)
It’s inspiring that so many couples are seeing the benefits of smaller weddings.
In this January 23, 2009 National Post article, Cancel that White Stretch Limo also talks about the downsized guest list:
The National Post writes:
“Is Frugabridelista a word yet? If ever there were a moment for intimate weddings and austerity, isn’t this it?”
The article interviews several big shots in the wedding industry, including Bridal Guide Editor-in-chief Diane Forden. And what does Forden say will be the number one item on the budget cuts hit list as more and more couples are impacted by the recession?
“I think it will be their guest list,” says Forden.
Smallelujah!
The Wedding Guest List: To Invite, or Not Invite, that is the Question
January 2, 2009 by
The guest list. For some couples it’s as easy as pie. For others, it’s the most difficult part of planning a wedding.
If you and your fiancé have big families, chances are you are in for more of a challenge. Add co-workers to the mix and you might feel a big headache coming on.
Take heart. Help is here for creating your small wedding guest list.
First, think about who you really WANT at your wedding. If great Aunt Lucy doesn’t come to mind, don’t invite her. If co-worker Bob (the one who invited you to his wedding) doesn’t make the initial cut, don’t add him to the list. A small wedding is not about inviting people out of obligation. It’s about inviting the people who really matter to you. Unless your parents are paying for a big chunk of the wedding costs, your guest list is up to you.
“But that’s not realistic,” I can hear you saying. “People will be offended. I will be scorned.”
There is a chance that some people might feel left out. However, the chances of that happening are a lot less likely if you are honest with them. Gently let people who have not been invited (and think they should be) know that you are having a small wedding and that you are only having a few guests. Chances are that given the current state of the economy, several of your friends, acquaintances and distant family might actually feel relieved that they don’t have to come up with hundreds of dollars in travel expenses and wedding gifts.
Read The Wedding Guest List: Who Makes the Cut? for more helpful tips on downsizing your guest list.
Photo: Anne Ruthmann Photography
Who Sits Where? Seating Chart Software Makes it Easier
December 6, 2008 by
